There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
