how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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