Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
