Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
