YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
