You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She swung at the pinata with crutches
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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