sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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