I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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