3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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