That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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