I want to have your abortion
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
