Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
