there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
