He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
