In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
