dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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