Apparently you make a good broom.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
