I'm jealous of your bromance
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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