On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
