You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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