I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
