I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
