I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
