is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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