She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
