my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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