my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Panties = found
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
