this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
