That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
