My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
