I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
