I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
