U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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