I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
