My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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