some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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