I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
