Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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