The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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