I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
