i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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