trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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