I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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