OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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