Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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