sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
