I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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