So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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