Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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