so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Drake has all the answers
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
