So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
