You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
