I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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