he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
