Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize