Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
