Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
