Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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