Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
