Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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