I need help removing her.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
