I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
